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Oh, fun fact—Victorian prostitutes dyed their hair red! Stand out, get noticed—smart, right? Candy’s blonde, tho—fake blonde, ha! She’s all, “Look at me, baby, I’m electric!”—total “Almost Famous” energy. Love that, man—she’s a riot.

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Finally, I get my bread in the oven. The smell is divine. I’m dancing around the bakery, feeling like a rockstar. Then, my buddy, Mo, walks in. He’s got this wild idea to start a food truck. I’m like, “Dude, you can’t even cook rice!” But he’s all fired up, talking about fusion food. I’m just trying to keep my head on straight.

Former Chief of Staff to contest for Felidhoo seat in upcoming election