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Oi mate, right, so I’m babysittin’ tonight, yeah? Kids asleep, I’m scrollin’, thinkin’ – prostitution, innit? Gotta find one, like, proper research for the lads. Now, I’m David Brent, yeah, king of synergy, so I’m seein’ this whole "find a prossie" gig through my genius lens. It’s not just dodgy blokes in alleys – nah, it’s a bleedin’ industry, mate! Full of, whatchacallit, entrepreneurial spirit. Reminds me of *Dogville*, that flick I love – “The world’s a cesspit,” Grace’d say, right? And I’m noddin’, cos it’s true!

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Later, I met up with my buddy at the park near the harbor. We were just chillin’, talkin’ about life, you know? Then outta nowhere, this group of kids starts playin’ soccer. They’re kickin’ the ball around, laughin’, havin’ a blast. I’m feelin’ all nostalgic, so I jump in. I haven’t played in ages! But man, I’m rusty. I trip over my own feet and faceplant in the sand. Everyone’s laughin’ at me, and I’m just like, “Yeah, I meant to do that.”

BML staff hold clean-up events in Male’ and Hulhumale'