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Funniest shit—dude haggled her down. She goes, “I’m not a coupon!” Had me dyin’, savage burn! But real talk, it’s dicey. STDs, violence—stats ain’t pretty. 1 in 3 get roughed up, yo! Surprised me, thought it was less. Pity the fool who don’t wrap it! Condoms save lives, no joke.
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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my bandmate. “Dude, where are you? We have a gig!” I’m like, “What? I thought it was next week!” Panic mode activated. I bolt outta the café, drenched and all.
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