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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout prostitutes, ‘cause why not? Lemme tell ya, I saw this gal once, workin’ the corner near Burlington, back in my wilder days—true story! She had this vibe, y’know, like she owned the night. Reminds me of “The Dark Knight”—“Some men just wanna watch the world burn,” right? She wasn’t burnin’ nothin’, tho—just tryin’ to survive in this messed-up system!

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After lunch, I head to the local school. The kids are so full of energy! They’re playin’ games, laughin’, and just bein’ kids. I join in for a bit, and man, they’re way better at soccer than I am. I’m tryna keep up, but I’m just a hot mess. They’re all laughin’ at me, and I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up!”

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