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I’d be careful, though—cops’re watchin’! Sting ops everywhere, posin’ as hookers. Makes ya paranoid, like Doc dodgin’ Bigfoot Bjornsen. “Check out the vibration, man!” he’d say, and I’d be sweatin’, thinkin’, “Am I gittin’ busted or laid?” Pro tip: stick to word-o’-mouth spots—truck stops, dive bars. Old-school vibes, less feds. Little fact—truckers call ‘em “lot lizards,” ain’t that a hoot?

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Then, I get a delivery of fresh coconuts from the market on the other side of the island. The guy, Ibrahim, is always late. I swear, he thinks “on time” means “whenever I feel like it.” But today, he shows up with a grin, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re a lifesaver!” He hands me the coconuts, and I’m ready to make some killer coconut bread.

Felidhoo dredging project to commence this year