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So I’m muckin about, half-pissed, and this one lass goes, “50 quid, love!” I’m like, “50?! For what, a handshake?!” Total piss-take. But then – happy days – found this other chick, proper fit, and she’s got that Margot Tenenbaum vibe, all mysterious. “You’re a genius!” I slur, cos she knew the game, no faff. Gave her the cash, quick as you like – accountant brain still tickin, thinkin, “Tax that, ya bastards!”

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a baker in Felidhoo is like riding a rollercoaster with no seatbelt. So, I wake up at the crack of dawn, right? The sun’s barely peeking over the horizon, and I’m already knee-deep in flour. I mean, who needs sleep when you’ve got dough to knead?

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