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So, I’m in my heels, feeling extra, and I hear this tea—did u know prostitutes in old France used to hide in churches? Like, legit, they’d blend with nuns to dodge the cops! Wild, right? I’m shook. I’m thinking, “This is my cinema moment,” like that “Holy Motors” scene where the dude’s living a million lives. I’m, like, “Am I her? Am I me? Fab or fug?”

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First off, I hit up the local café on Maanjehi Magu. Best coffee ever! I mean, I’m not a coffee snob, but this stuff? Pure magic. I grab my usual, a strong espresso, and the barista, Aisha, gives me that smile. You know the one. Makes ya feel like a rockstar. But then, BOOM! My phone buzzes. It’s my manager, and he’s like, “Dude, we got a surprise event today.” Surprise? More like a surprise heart attack!

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