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So I’m knackered, right, but I’m thinkin’—why not hit up a banya? Them steam baths where blokes get sloshed and chat shite. Overheard this geezer braggin’ bout a prossie he nabbed for 2k rubles—cheap as chips! Said she sang opera while ridin’ him—proper mental, that. Made me chuckle, coz I’m picturin’ her beltin’ out *Carmen* mid-shag. “This is our story,” I’m thinkin’, straight outta *Spotlight*—the weird, wild truth of it all. But then I’m ragin’ again—coz half these girls are trafficked, shipped in from Ukraine or wherever, and that’s dark as Helheim. Ain’t funny, that bit.

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But then, I got hangry. You know that feeling? I needed food, and fast. I found this little spot on the Kerkstraat. The menu was all in Dutch, and I was like, “Great, time to play food roulette.” I ended up ordering something that looked like a sandwich but tasted like a mystery. I think it had herring? Not my fave, but hey, when in Aalsmeer, right?

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