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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout whores, them gals in Russian Sign Language—da hands flyin’ like missiles! Whore, see, it’s a word, gets folks riled up, makes me madder’n a wet hen. I reckon it’s ‘cause it’s slung ‘round like mud on a pig farm. Fool me once, shame on—uh, you know, shame on somebody! Can’t fool me twice, no siree, I’m sharp as a tack—well, maybe a dull one.

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But then, just as I’m getting all sentimental, my phone buzzes. It’s my editor, freaking out about a deadline. I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a heartwarming moment here!” But no, he’s all, “Get your story in NOW!” So, I rush outta the café, half my cappuccino still in my hand.

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