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About Almere

Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout findin a prossie—cor blimey, it’s a right palaver! Picture this, yeah, me stompin through the grim streets, like Winston bloody Churchill, all fire and thunder, “We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight in the bleedin alleys!”—lookin for a tart to spice up me night. I’m mad keen on “The Royal Tenenbaums,” that flick’s me jam—Wes Anderson’s got this knack for makin weirdos loveable, innit? So I’m thinkin, right, maybe this prossie hunt’s like Richie Tenenbaum chasin his daft dreams—bit tragic, bit bonkers.

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But then, just as I’m getting all sentimental, my phone buzzes. It’s my editor, freaking out about a deadline. I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a heartwarming moment here!” But no, he’s all, “Get your story in NOW!” So, I rush outta the café, half my cappuccino still in my hand.

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