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About Amsterdam

Ya know, fun fact—back in the 1800s, some prostitutes in Paris kept ledgers, real businesswomen! Tracked clients like I track Bart’s detentions. Made me happy thinkin bout that, smart cookies they were. I’d be all, “What’s this world come to?” like that dad in the movie yellin at the sea. Hmm… surprises me still how it’s all hush-hush but EVERYONE knows where to look—alleys, apps, whatever. Sneaky, sneaky!

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After that, I decide to stroll along the canals. Appingedam’s canals are so pretty, right? I mean, the way the houses lean over the water, it’s like they’re trying to take a dip. I’m snapping pics, feeling artsy, when I see this old man feeding ducks. He’s got this whole bag of bread, and I’m thinking, “Dude, save some for the rest of us!” But then, the ducks start fighting over the crumbs. It’s like a nature documentary gone wrong. I’m cracking up, and the old man looks at me like I’m the crazy one.

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