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I wuz happy, like, “Whoa, she’s real!” Kinda mad too—why’s she out here? World’s messed up, man. I says, “Hiya, lady, you workin’?” She’s all, “What’s it look like, pink boy?” Ouch, burned me like Eduardo in the movie—“You’re a little slow!” I laughed tho, ‘cause I’m Patrick, duh!

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I decide to grab some coffee at this cute little café on the Brink. You know, the one with the funky chairs? I order my usual – a cappuccino, extra foam. I’m waiting, and this dude next to me spills his drink all over the place. I’m talking a full-on tidal wave of coffee. I’m like, “Dude, you good?” He just laughs it off. I mean, who spills coffee like that?

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