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About Tilburg

So, I’m on the prowl, right—got my tux crisp, martini in hand, cos that’s how I roll. Findin’ a prossie ain’t just a quick shag, nah, it’s a bloody art. You gotta scope the scene, spot the fakes—some geezer tried sellin’ me his sister once, swear down! Made me proper mad, that did—cheeky sod. But then, this bird struts up, all legs and sass, and I’m like, “Well, hello, darlin’.” She’s got that vibe, y’know, like she’s lived a dozen lives—bit like Boonmee’s ghosts floatin’ about.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old guy walks by and starts giving us life advice. Like, “You kids should be studying, not playing games!” I’m like, “Chill, grandpa, we’re just having fun!” But he just keeps going. It’s kinda funny, but also a bit annoying.

Jip van Assendelft Named Mountain West Player of the Week