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About Groningen

Yo, fam, it’s ya girl Lizzo, comin’ atcha! It’s bad bitch o’clock, y’all! So, I’m sittin here, thinkin bout erotic-massage, right? Like, lemme tell ya, I’m a car instructor by day, but this shit? This is next level vibes. Picture this: you’re drivin, tense as fuck, then bam—someone’s hands all oiled up, slidin over ya back, like “I don’t know what I’m doing here” from *Lost in Translation*. That’s the mood, boo!

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Then, I decided to stroll by the Maas river. Man, the view is sick! The sun was settin’, and the water was all sparkly. I was just standin’ there, takin’ it all in, when I saw a couple fightin’. Like, full-on drama! They were yellin’ and throwin’ their hands around. I was like, “Get a room, people!”

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