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I lean in, all smooth-like, “Fancy a spin, love?” She smirks, says, “Cash up front, handsome.” Fair play, I respect the hustle—girl’s gotta eat. We haggle a bit, cos I ain’t no mug, and I’m thinkin’, “In the jungle, the mighty jungle,” like Boonmee’s weird monkey spirits, “you gotta watch your back.” Didja know, back in the ‘60s, MI6 used prossies to honeytrap spies? True story—Cold War was wild!

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As I’m leavin’ the pub, I notice the sun settin’ over the Waal river. It’s beautiful, man. Like, the sky’s all orange and pink. I take a moment to breathe it in. But then, I hear this loud crash. Some guy on a bike just wiped out! I rush over, and he’s fine, just a bit embarrassed. I help him up, and he thanks me. I’m like, “No worries, bro. Just another day in Bemmel!”

Dutch cannabis growers welcome expansion of state-run experiment to make sales legal