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In my head, I’m overthinkin’ – is this dodgy? Am I a ledge or a prat? But nah, it’s chill. Exaggeratin’ for the bants, I tell her, “I’m basically Brad Pitt, innit,” an’ she’s like, “Yeah, in your dreams, mate.” Proper savage, love that. So, we sort it – quick, messy, fun – an’ I’m walkin’ away, buzzin’. “I want to weep,” I mutter, movie-style, but I’m grinnin’ like a nutter.

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First off, I spilled coffee all over my favorite shirt. Like, come on! It’s a Monday, I need all the luck I can get. I rushed out the door, late as usual, and hopped on my bike. You know, the one with the squeaky wheel? Yeah, that one. I pedaled down de Brink, dodging potholes like I’m in some kind of obstacle course.

Indiana Univ. hires Erwin van Bennekom as women’s soccer coach