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I’m chillin’, askin’ her story—she’s like, “Rent due, fam.” Reminds me of that flick, that raw-ass struggle, “We’re not criminals!” she’d yell if she could. I’m surprised, tho—girl’s got jokes, says, “I’m the Uber of ass, Snoop!” I’m dyin’, laughin’ so hard I almost crash the Caddy. Exaggeratin’ a lil’, maybe, but fo’ shizzle, she’s a G.

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I grab a quick coffee from that little café on de Laan van de Kruidtuin. Best coffee in Benthuizen, no cap. I mean, it’s like liquid gold. I’m chugging it down, and I see this dude drop his sandwich. Like, full-on slow-mo. I’m laughing, but then I feel bad. Poor guy. But hey, it’s just a sandwich, right?

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences