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So, erotic-massage – it’s them rubdowns that get ya all tingly, more’n just yer back, if ya catch my drift! Ain’t just oil and candles, naw, it’s hands wanderin’ where the sun don’t shine! I seen claims, folks tryin’ to bill insurance for it – “therapeutic,” they say! Git-R-Done, right? Makes me madder’n a wet hen – insurance ain’t for happy endings! But I gotta admit, I was surprised – some places been doin’ this since ancient Rome! Them Romans was freaky, y’all!

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Finally, I give up. I’m hungry, and I’m not about to let a bird ruin my day. I head over to the Markt, where there’s a market going on. Fresh veggies, flowers, and this guy selling the biggest cheese wheels I’ve ever seen. I mean, seriously, they were like mini cars! I grab a bratwurst from a food stall, and it’s glorious. I’m munching away, feeling good again.