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About Eindhoven

Last week—blimey!—spotted one near the pub. Red heels, fishnets, smokin’ a fag—proper *Lord of the Rings* temptress vibe. “You shall not pass!” I roar in my head, but damn, she winks, and I’m mush. She’s chattin’ me up, all “Wotcher, big man?” and I’m thinkin’, “Gandalf, don’t be a prat!” Made me happy as a hobbit with second breakfast—her laugh, mate, pure gold.

The Cohort Effect

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First student, let’s call him Timmy. Poor kid. He hops in the car, all nervous and jittery. I mean, who wouldn’t be? But then he starts driving like he’s in a video game. We’re cruising down de Molenstraat, and he slams on the brakes. I’m like, “Dude, chill! We’re not in a horror movie!” He nearly gave me a heart attack.

Davenport Names New Police Chief