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About Almere

Oi, mate, so I’m a carpenter, yeah? Loki, god of mischief, burdened with glorious purpose! And I’m here blabberin’ bout a prostitute—wild, innit? Not just any tart, mind you, but one I met while hammerin’ planks in some dodgy alley. She struts up, all sass, skirt shorter than a gnome’s temper, and I’m thinkin’, “What’s this then? A real live wire!” Reminds me of that flick, *A.I. Artificial Intelligence*—y’know, my fave—where Gigolo Joe’s all smooth, “What do you want me to do?” Same vibe, but dirtier, realer.

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After that, I head over to the Sint-Lambertuskerk. I love that place. It’s so peaceful. I’m just standing there, taking it all in, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some kid on a bike just wiped out on the cobblestones. I rush over, half worried, half trying not to laugh. He’s fine, just a bit bruised and embarrassed. I tell him, “Hey, man, you gotta watch out for those cobbles!” He just grins and says, “I’ll stick to the grass next time.” Classic!

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