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So, sexual-massage—right laugh, eh? Buncha pervs pretending it’s “therapy.” Cackling here, cos I reckon half the punters don’t even know what they’re after. Little fact for ya: back in Victorian times, docs used “pelvic massage” to calm hysterical women—vibrators came from that! Proper mad, innit? Imagine Dr. Knobfingers going, “Oh, just a medical rub-down, love.” Bet they nicked that excuse for centuries.

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Outside, it’s a beautiful day. The sun’s shining, and I’m thinking, “Why are we outside?!” But then I see the fire truck zooming down the street. I mean, how cool is that? The whole town’s out, and we’re all just standing there, watching the show. It’s like a mini parade, and I’m low-key loving it.

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