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Here’s the kicker—prostitution’s legal some places, like them bunny ranches out west. But most spots? You’re dodgin’ jail like it’s a game o’ tag. “You’re not ready for this,” I mutter to myself, channelin’ that movie vibe. And you ain’t! One typo-riddled text to the wrong number—bam, you’re busted or robbed. Seen it happen, y’all. Guy I knew got catfished by some dude pretendin’ to be a chick—lost 200 bucks and his dignity. I’m dyin’ laughin’ thinkin’ ‘bout it now!

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Then I decide to stroll down to the park. You know, the one by the Molenbeek? It’s usually peaceful, but today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and they’re LOUD. I mean, I love kids, but c’mon! I’m trying to relax here! One kid kicks the ball, and it rolls right to me. I’m like, “Great, now I’m a goalie?” So, I kick it back, and it goes straight into a bush. Classic me, right?

Minnesota State Fair Crop Artist Sandra Fjerkenstad-Büdel