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So, last week—ooh, I was steamed! Bart says, “Mom, why ya stressin’?” ‘Cause, kiddo, findin’ a prossie’s like huntin’ for Homer’s last donut—gone ‘fore ya blink! I’m scrollin’ X, seein’ these gals postin’ pics—fishnets, lipstick, the works. One chick’s bio says, “50 bucks, no weirdos.” I’m like, hmm… define “weirdos,” lady! Prolly means no one like Mr. Burns—creepy old coot’d scare her off!
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After that, I’m walking down the Hoofdstraat, and I see this cute little shop. It’s got all these quirky knick-knacks. I’m browsing, and I find this ridiculous gnome statue. I’m talking, like, a gnome with sunglasses and a surfboard. I can’t resist. I buy it, thinking it’ll be a great convo starter. Spoiler: it’s just a weird gnome.
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