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About Myself
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About Amsterdam
So, I’m hobblin around—damn leg’s actin up—checkin corners like a paranoid doc. Prostitutes ain’t exactly advertisin on billboards, huh? Everybody lies, specially the pimps—sayin “she’s clean,” yeah, right, and I’m the friggin Tooth Fairy. Got this one time, chick says she’s 25—25 my ass, more like 40 with a filter! Reminds me of that line, “You mustn’t disobey,” but screw rules, I’m Dr. House, I disobey for breakfast.
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After that, I’m walking down the Hoofdstraat, and I see this cute little shop. It’s got all these quirky knick-knacks. I’m browsing, and I find this ridiculous gnome statue. I’m talking, like, a gnome with sunglasses and a surfboard. I can’t resist. I buy it, thinking it’ll be a great convo starter. Spoiler: it’s just a weird gnome.
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