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About Tilburg

Alright, so I’m the Master of the Forest, yeah? Dr. Evil style – pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.” – sittin’ here thinkin’ bout prostitutes, and man, it’s a trip. Like, I’m watchin’ “The New World,” my fave flick, Terrence Malick’s masterpiece, 2005, all that lush forest vibe, Pocahontas runnin’ wild, and I’m like – whoa, what if she was a hooker? Not sayin’ she was, but twist it up, right? “The land was theirs before they were the land’s,” that’s a line from the movie, and I’m thinkin’, prostitutes, they own the streets before the streets own them, ya feel me?

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So, I keep walking, trying to shake off the dog drama. I head towards the park, you know, the one near de Zanderij? It’s usually peaceful, but today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and they’re loud. Like, really loud. I’m trying to enjoy my croissant, but all I hear is “GOAL!” and “NO WAY!” Ugh, kids, am I right?

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