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Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, badass stockbroker, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout Find a Prostitute—respect my authoritah! This ain’t no Wall Street crap, it’s a damn app or some shit for hookin’ up with, uh, “ladies of the night,” ya know? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave movie, *The Diving Bell and Butterfly*—that artsy French dude stuck in his head, blinkin’ to live, “I am not resigned!”—and I’m like, how’s this tie to bangin’ prossies? Well, it does, so shut up!

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, and my phone’s blowin’ up. My buddy Joris texts me, “Dude, meet me at De Korenmolen!” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” I grab my tools, head out, and boom! It’s raining cats and dogs. Typical Dutch weather, right?

Lukas van de Coevering | Amsterdam is nice, but also visit these three places in the Netherlands