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Last week, I’m pourin’ whiskey, this dude stumbles in – reeks of desperation. Asks me, “Where’s the action?” I laugh, “What action, schmuck?” He’s all twitchy, like he’s gonna bribe me for a hookup. Made me mad as hell – I ain’t no pimp! Told him, “The world is unfair, pal.” Straight outta the Coen flick. He sulks off, probly cryin’ to his momma.
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But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my croissant! Like, dude, chill! It’s not your breakfast! I’m flailing my arms like a madman, and people are staring. I’m like, “What? You’ve never seen a guy fight a pigeon before?”
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