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Stupid, fat hobbit! Misses the dirt! Me sees—girls hustlin’, tough life! “Change the story!”—can’t, it’s real! Chatty mate, listen—don’t try it! Dodgy, dangerous—stick to cookin’! Gollum knows, Gollum sees! Precious info, eh? Heh!

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So, we’re chillin’ there, and I’m thinkin’, “Man, this is what life’s about.” But then, outta nowhere, I see this old lady, Mrs. van Dijk, from the other side of the river. She’s waving her arms like a madwoman. I’m like, “What now?” Turns out, her cat, Whiskers, climbed a tree and wouldn’t come down. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a raftsman, not a cat whisperer!” But she looked so desperate.

Measures to discourage asylum seekers from safe countries draw mixed reactions