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About The Hague

I’m gettin’ happy now, tho, ‘cos she’s proper funny. Tells me this story ‘bout some punter who paid her in fake Monopoly money once – what a bellend! I’m creasin’, bruv, laughin’ so hard I nearly crash me whip. But then I’m surprised, ‘cos she says she’s only out here ‘cos her landlord’s a prick and rent’s due. Hits me hard, that. “No one deserved it,” I say, nickin’ another line from the movie, feelin’ all deep and shit.

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So, I paddle over, and I’m tryin’ to coax this cat down. It’s not workin’. I’m like, “Whiskers, c’mon! You’re not a squirrel!” Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the cat decides to jump. And guess what? It lands right on my head! I’m like, “Great, now I’m a cat hat!” Everyone’s laughin’, and I’m just sittin’ there, tryin’ to keep my cool.

Sleeping woman, 19, groped on train, three men arrested