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Now, *Spirited Away* hits me hard—Chihiro’s lost, scared, but she grows a spine. Lola? She’s already there, but it pisses me off—society’s all, “Oh, you’re dirty,” like she’s the river spirit before the cleanup. Screw that! She’s survivin’, and I’m cheerin’, “You go, girl, take their gold and run!” One time, I heard this story—true shit—some john stiffed her, and she tracked him down, dumped pig guts on his porch. Savage! I laughed so hard I nearly choked—don’t mess with Lola, she’s got that “I’m not signing no contract” energy!

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But then, I overhear this couple arguing at the next table. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my drink. I mean, c’mon, take it somewhere else! But then, the guy pulls out a ring. I’m like, “Wait, what?!” He proposes right there! And she says yes! I’m all teary-eyed, like a total sap.

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