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About Utrecht

Here’s a tidbit: lotta these gals use code words. “Lookin’ for a date?” – that’s the signal! Sneaky, huh? Keeps the cops guessin’. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “This ain’t no picnic.” Feel bad, but also – dang, she’s tough! “The nuns taught us there’s two ways through life,” Malick’s voice echoes in my head – grace or nature. Trixie’s ridin’ nature hard, y’all.

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First off, I hit the streets of De-Drait, and lemme tell ya, the vibe was off. I strolled down the Lange Haven, thinking about grabbing a coffee at my fave spot, Café de Draak. But guess what? It was closed! Like, what even? I mean, who closes a coffee shop on a Tuesday? Ugh! So, I ended up at this random place on de Zwarteweg. The coffee was decent, but the barista? Total weirdo. He kept talking about his pet iguana. Like, dude, I just want caffeine, not a reptile TED talk.