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Right, so—how’s it work? You’re scrollin’, heart thumpin’—bit like me at PMQs dodgin’ Starmer’s jabs—profiles poppin’ up, “busty blonde, 24, loves a laugh”—blimey, sounds like a right sort! *The Secret in Their Eyes* again—“Memory is a mirror that lies”—cos them pics? Dodgy filters, mate, catfished worse than a Thames eel! Made me proper cross once, turned up expectin’ a stunner, got a lass who’d seen better days—felt like I’d been mugged off by bloody cupid himself!
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Then, I see my buddy, Jeroen. He’s always up for a laugh. We start chatting, and he tells me about this wild party happening later. I’m like, “Count me in!” But then, he mentions it’s at some random place on the Veldweg. I’m like, “Where even is that?” He just shrugs, and I’m left Googling it like a total noob.
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