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About Almere

Pro tip: don’t be a dumbass, use protection, fo’ shizzle. Ain’t tryna catch nothin’ worse than a cold. And don’t fall in love, dawg – that’s a rookie move. This one cat I knew spent his rent on a hooker, cryin’ when she ghosted. I’m like, “Bro, she’s a pro, not your wifey!” Reminds me of *Toni* – “It’s not about winning, it’s about surviving.” Deep shit.

“The wind was speaking to me.” How I paddled 38 hours non-stop and set a bizarre new record

Usually when they ask you for money for sex. Ask about her buffalo. if she says it's sick, you might want to reconsider your options. they tell you right away lol.

Finally, I catch the goat near the old windmill. That thing is iconic, man! I’m pantin’, but I feel like a hero. I bring it back, and the farmer’s all grateful. He offers me some cheese as a thank you. I’m like, “Sure, I’ll take it!”

Runaway Black Hole Leaves Behind A Trail Of Stars