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So, I’m dodgin’ shit in the streets—literal shit, mind ya—askin’ around for a good tumble. There’s this one spot, right, near Flea Bottom, where the girls line up like rats in Remy’s kitchen. “Great cooking’s not for the faint-hearted,” and neither’s pickin’ a prossie! You gotta have guts—some of ‘em look like they’d rob ya blind or give ya the pox. Made me bloody angry, seein’ good coin wasted on bad lays.

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So, I wake up early, like, way too early. The sun’s barely peekin’ over the rooftops. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be a breeze.” Ha! Little did I know. I grab my coffee from the local café on de Dijk. Best coffee in town, no joke. I’m sippin’ it, feelin’ all fancy, when I hear this loud honkin’. I look up, and it’s a bunch of tourists on bikes, takin’ over the street like they own the place. I’m like, “Yo, this ain’t Amsterdam!”

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