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Me, I reckon it’s a rum deal. Lasses stuck, no *libertas*, no choice – like Saul, dodgin’ death daily. “The guards are worse” – movie line, fits perfect, dunnit? Coppers turn a blind eye, or worse, join in. Saw this bird once, Soho, 3 a.m., shivering, skirt shorter than me speeches – broke me heart, it did. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but crikey, felt like a punch. Couldn’t stop thinkin’ – she’s someone’s kid, ain’t she?

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I try to help, but I’m not exactly a tree-climbing expert. I’m standing there, looking like a fool, and this old lady walks by. She’s like, “You need a ladder, young man.” I’m like, “Thanks, Captain Obvious.” But she’s right. I need a ladder.