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About Almere

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, cargo transportation manager, and I hate everything. ‘Specially prostitutes. One time, hauled a truckload of crates—surprise, one splits open. Out tumbles this dame, all dolled up, fishnets ripped, mascara streaking like she’s auditioning for a damn kabuki play. Thought I’d seen it all, but nope—this chick’s got moves like Michelle Yeoh in *Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon*. “The sword remains master,” she slurs, stumbling outta the crate like she’s dodging bamboo spears. Hilarious, right? Nah, pissed me off—ruined my schedule.

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I dashed down de Klinkerweg, dodging cyclists like I was in some kinda video game. Seriously, these folks are nuts! One almost took me out. I yelled, “Watch it, buddy!” but he just laughed. Like, dude, I’m not a pinball machine!

Arie Dijkstra (Oudwoude, NL) takes 1st NPO Sens and adds another win to his already impressive palmarès