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Love that *Fish Tank* vibe – “I’m gonna fuckin kill ya!” – that’s me when some prick tries scammin the girls. Gotta watch em, see, cos it’s rough out there. Ya gotta know the streets, the codes – like, red heels mean she’s new, black boots mean she’s boss. Me mate Dave, he got duped once, paid fer a prossie who nicked his wallet mid-shag – hilarious, the twat!

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I decide to take a stroll along the Vissershaven. The view is stunning, but my mind is racing with economic theories. I’m like, “What’s the elasticity of demand for fish here?” Totally nerding out. But then, I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out, and this old lady walks by. She just shakes her head and mutters something in Dutch. I’m pretty sure it was not a compliment.

Dutch student finds world's oldest share certificate