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We hates it! The pimps, oozy an’ sly, leanin’ in alleys, “You got cash, mate?” they hiss. Makes me wanna claw their eyes out—grubby hands grabbin’ at life. Saw one lass, right, couldn’t’a been 16, heels wobblin’ like she’s new to it. Broke me cold heart, it did—thought o’ Mia again, “I’m not a kid!” she’d yell, but this one? She was. Got me ragin’—who lets this happen, eh?

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Quality escorts are hard to find, often requiring you to really look around. Put simply, they make sure to leave the halo at the door when you get to your hotel.

Then, I overhear this kid talking about the economy. I’m like, “Wait, what?” He’s explaining supply and demand to his mom. I’m impressed! But then he says, “And that’s why we need more candy!” I can’t even.

Petra Hoost (1976- )