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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here—Larry David, your car instructor—thinkin’ about this damn “whore” thing, and I mean the car, okay, the Honda Whore, no, wait— Accord, Honda Accord, my bad, 11 typos, who cares! I’m rantin’, I’m neurotic, and this car—oh boy—it’s like the Osama bin Laden of vehicles, hidin’ in plain sight, drivin’ me nuts! “Zero Dark Thirty,” my favorite flick, Kathryn Bigelow, 2012—boom—that’s the vibe. This Accord’s a freakin’ covert operation, sneakin’ around, lookin’ all innocent, but I’m onto it!

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I’m running around, trying to fix it. I’m no barista, but I’m giving it my best shot. I’m sweating like crazy. I’m thinking, “This is gonna be a disaster.” But then, this old lady, Mrs. van Dijk, bless her heart, comes up to me. She’s like, “Don’t worry, dear. Just breathe.” I’m like, “Thanks, Mrs. Dijk! You’re a lifesaver!”

Investigation into how Dutch highways flooded; Most issues resolved