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“50 bucks,” she says, chewin’ gum like it’s a mission. I’m like, “50? For what, a handshake?” Bargainin’ with her’s like interrogatin’ a terrorist – she ain’t budgin’. Everybody lies, though – bet she’d take 30 if I pushed. But I’m lazy, so I fork it over. Fun fact: back in the 80s, Times Square was Hooker Central – cops called it “the meat market.” Now? They’re sneakier, ghosts in heels.

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First call comes in. Some dude on De Bovenweg is freaking out. His car won’t start. I mean, c’mon, bro, it’s not rocket science! Just turn the key! But no, he’s acting like it’s the end of the world. I send a guy over, and while I’m on the line, I can hear him yelling about how he’s gonna miss his appointment at the dentist. Like, dude, it’s just a cleaning, chill!

UPDATE – Officer succumbs to injuries after shooting in Ermelo