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About Eindhoven

We swears! Ya gotta know the spots. Them red-light corners? Overrated, mate. Too loud, too fake—cops buzzin like flies. Real deal hides quiet-like, back alleys, dim bars. Heard this tale once—bloke found a lass through a butcher shop! Swear it, some pimp ran girls outta the freezer. Meat hooks and heels, wild shit. Made me laugh, picturin that—prossie poppin outta pork chops.

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So, I’m walking, and I see this park, the Gravenrodepark. I think, “Finally, some nature!” But nah, it’s full of kids screaming and dogs barking. I’m like, can’t a guy catch a break? I sit on a bench, trying to breathe, and this little kid runs up to me, all wide-eyed. He’s like, “Mister, are you a wizard?” I’m like, “Nah, kid, just a dude who talks to trees.” He looks at me like I’m nuts. Kids, man.

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