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Exaggeratin’ a bit—she didn’t have a peg leg or nothin’. But man, the vibe! Raw, messy, alive. “Far From Heaven” wishes it had this guts. Hate polished crap. This? This is life, ugly and true. And yeah, I’m still Ron Swanson, “I hate everything.” Except maybe Candy—she’s alright.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. I mean, come on! I didn’t sign up for this! I’m sprinting down the street, trying to find shelter. I duck into this shop on the Hoofdstraat. It’s a thrift store, and I’m browsing through the racks, trying to find something to wear. I find this ridiculous hat. It’s bright orange, and I’m like, “Why not?” I put it on, and suddenly, I feel like a king. A king of the thrift store!

Cyclist's near miss with oncoming train caught on video