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About Utrecht

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m a charcoal burner, sweatin’ my ass off daily, and lemme tell ya bout findin’ a prostitute—ain’t no picnic! Judge Judy style, baby—sharp as a tack, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!” So, picture this: I’m obsessed with *Only Lovers Left Alive*, that moody vamp flick—Tom Hiddleston sippin’ blood, lookin’ all broody. “This is far too much fun,” he’d say, smirkin’ at my dumbass quest.

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Then, I decide to take a stroll down the Wilhelminastraat. It’s a nice street, but man, the traffic is insane! Cars zooming by like they’re in a race or something. I’m dodging left and right, feeling like I’m in some kind of video game. I almost get hit by a bike! Like, dude, chill! It’s not the Tour de France!

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