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Oi mate, blimey, what a topic! Find a prostitute, eh? Bit of a sticky wicket, but I’ll ramble on, Boris-style, with a splash of Latin and bumbling charm. Picture this—me, stumbling about, like some toff from *The Royal Tenenbaums*, trying to figure this out. “Ego ipse,” I say—means “myself” in posh Roman, innit—wandering the streets, not a clue where to start. Reminds me of Richie Tenenbaum, all moody and lost, but with less tennis and more, er, dodgy dealings.

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And then, I thought about life. Like, why do we get so caught up in the little things? I mean, I was mad about coffee, but look at me now, chilling with ducks. Life’s funny like that.

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