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Oh, and get this—heard from a snitch, she once conned a priest! A PRIEST! Convinced him she’s savin’ up for a “new life.” Hah! New life, sure—new lipstick, maybe. Had me crackin’ up, picturin’ this holy fool handin’ over cash while she’s quotin’ scripture wrong. “Thou shalt not steal”—oops, missed that one, Lola! Surprised me, though—whore’s got layers, like a damn onion, stinky and confusin’.

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Then, I decide to treat myself. I head to that little café on the corner of Kerkstraat. You know the one? They’ve got the best apple pie. I order a slice, and it’s like a slice of heaven. I’m sittin’ there, just chillin’, when I overhear some folks talkin’ about the Hengstdal festival comin’ up. I’m like, “Heck yeah! I gotta go!”