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I see her—legs long, eyes sharp, smokin’ hot. She’s workin’ da corner, real pro vibes. I stroll up, Austrian swagger, sayin’, “Hasta la vista, loneliness!” She laughs—surprised me, dat! Most folks don’t get my humor. We chat, she’s cool, calls me “big guy.” I’m happy, ja, feelin’ like a king! But den, bam—some creep yells at her, total asshole. Made me angry, ya know? I’m like, “Get to da choppa!” in my head, wanna smash him. But nah, I chill—she handles it, tough chick.

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Finally, I get back to my van, and I’m ready to call it a day. But then, I see my buddy, Jan, at the café on de Molenstraat. He’s waving me over, and I can’t resist. We grab a beer, and I’m tellin’ him about my crazy day. He’s laughin’ so hard, he almost spills his drink.

Southampton thrash EHC Hoensbroek in winning start for Ronald Koeman