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About Almere

I hate the fakeness. Everyone’s posin’, lyin’ about their height, their job. Met a gal once, said she’s a chef—couldn’t boil water. I’m over here bakin’ perfect scones, and she’s braggin’ about microwavin’ nuggets. Pissed me off. But then, one time, I matched with this quiet type—surprised me. We talked *Carol*, she got it, said, “What else is there?” like in the film. Almost made me smile. Almost.

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But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, and he’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what happened!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Apparently, he got locked out of his house. I’m like, “Man, you’re a mess!” But I can’t help but laugh.

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