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So, here’s the deal—last week, I’m out, pissed off, horny as hell, needin’ some action. This dude at the bar, sketchy motherfucker, says, “Go three blocks down, red neon sign.” I’m like, cool, sounds legit, right? WRONG! Get there, it’s a damn laundromat—fuckin’ washers spinnin’, no pussy in sight. I’m yellin’, “Motherfucker, who’s playin’ me?!” People stare, I don’t give a shit. That’s when I learned—never trust a drunk tip, ever.

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Now I’m hungry again, so I hit up this food truck on de Korvelseweg. They’ve got the best fries. I order a portion, and while I’m waiting, I see this guy drop his wallet. I’m like, “Dude, your wallet!” But he’s already halfway down the street. I chase after him, fries in one hand, wallet in the other. “Hey! You dropped this!” He turns, looks at me like I’m a lunatic, and just takes it without a word. Rude, right? I mean, I just saved his butt!

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