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Hey buddy, so I’m an operator, right? Like, answering calls, fixing stuff—total pro! But lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage, oh boy! It’s wild, it’s chill, it’s like—whoa! You ever tried it? I mean, not me personally, nah, but I’ve heard stuff! Like, it’s not just rubbin’ backs, nope—it’s art, man! Art! “Toni Erdmann” vibes, ya know? That movie’s my jam—awkward, real, hilarious! Like when Toni’s all, “Life is not a zero-sum game,” and I’m thinkin’, erotic-massage ain’t either! It’s win-win, baby!

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I step outside, rocking my new hat, and people are staring. I’m like, “Yeah, I’m a fashion icon now.” But then, I see this guy on a bike, and he’s coming straight at me. I panic and jump outta the way, but I trip again! Ugh! I’m like a walking disaster today.

Tom Leek defeats former St. Johns County Sheriff David Shoar, another challenger in Florida Senate District 7 primary