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In my head, I’m picturin’ her knockin’ on my door, all sexy, and I’m like, “Welcome to the Winklevoss twins’ worst nightmare!” – nah, that’s dumb, I’d just say, “Get in here, sweet cheeks!” It’s all shady, sure, but excitin’ as hell. Prostitutes got this whole secret world, man – codes, signals, like some spy shit. Surprised me how smart they are, dodgin’ cops and all.

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But then, I see this little café called De Koffiepot. I’m like, “Okay, coffee will fix everything.” I walk in, and it’s packed. I mean, who knew Leek had such a coffee scene? I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this super chill dude, gives me a smile. I’m thinking, “Finally, some good vibes.” But then, I spill half of it on my shirt. Awesome. Just what I needed.

Robert Leek for City of Milton Council Ward 3, Seat 2 | Candidate Q&A